TWINS To wins!
by TheTwoMind
Summary: hello love! hope this isn't too confUsing for yoU! OH WHAT DO I CARE? READ THE STORY, DON'T READ THE STORY, DO WHATEVER YOu LIKE, IT'S NOT LIKE IT BOTHERS ME...


**AN: Hi. I've been trying to write and having issues lately. Let's see what I can shoot out this time!**

Harry Potter sat on the train to Hogwarts, wearing a cloak as to hide his appearance… He was muttering something under his breath… "can't believe it… jUst becaUse i'm qUiet he thinks he can jUst shove me in front?" He muttered in a female, and very British, voice.

"NO I JuST DIDN'T GET TO SLEEP. YOu WERE uP ALL NIGHT WRITING YOuR STuPID SMuT!" He retorted in a male and angry voice.

"it's not smUt! it's romance!" He argued, in the female voice.

"I JuST WANT TO TAKE A FuCKING NAP!" He complained, ignoring the door opening to argue with himself.

"then have one! bUt it's not smUt! if it's anything close to that it's trashy romance! learn the difference for once!" He told the voice annoyed.

"Excuse me, have you perchance seen a toad? A young man named neville has gone and lost it!" A voice said as a boy poked his head through the doorway.

"NO. NOW FuCK OFF!" He snapped angrily.

"don't be rUde!" He said, admonishing the other voice.

"… Caliborn? Calliope? Is that you?" The boy asked curiously.

"OH. IT'S THE JAKE HuMAN."

"hello there jake! i hope this isn't too much of a sUrprise." He said, both voices overlapping while not at the same time.

"Well that's quite a confusing mess of voices! Are you alright?" Jake asked worried.

"WE'RE FINE. BuT SHE WON'T STOP WRITING SMuT."

"it's not smUt! it's romance!" The two started arguing.

"Um, could you please calm down?" He asked worried.

"I'M IN CONTROL!"  
"no i am!"  
"I AM!"  
"i am!" They kept arguing, before Jake walked over and touched them, getting a freakout.

"OH MY GOD YOu'RE TOuCHING ME STOP THAT RIGHT NOW DO YOu HAVE NO SENSE OF MORALS?!" The male voice screamed like a little girl.

"thank yoU for that jake. we really do need to get a pattern set Up now… we've never really needed one before now since it's jUst been Us two…" The female one thanked.

"It's no problem calliope! After all, we're friends!" Jake pointed out with a smile.

"i… sUppose yoU're right! i'm jUst sort of antsy… this is the first time in years that we've had to leave the hoUse and well, i gUess the stress is getting to me, we've had to leave twice in this week, so we're not doing so well…" She mumbled embarrassed. "anyway, i sUppose that i shoUld introdUce oUrselves… in this body we're called harry potter… we've managed to pass off oUr… circUmstances, as a mUltiple personality thing. of coUrse it helps that we can't tell who the body woUld have been if we weren't sharing…" She gave a nervous chuckle.

"CAN I BITE OuR LEG OFF YET?" Caliborn asked annoyed.

"no! we still have to get oUr doctors approval! which we can only get by… stop that!" She shouted, noticing her left hand make 'blah, blah, blah,' motions as she spoke.

"MIMIMIMIMIMI!" Caliborn mimicked her voice in a terrible way, making her sound like an immature boy.

"that's not what i soUnd like!" She complained.

"I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO BITE MY LEG OFF!"

"give it a few more weeks! remember, oUr doctor is working on the forms for us to bite it off, or at least try!" She told him annoyed.

"uuuuGH!"

"Should i… Go? Or…?" Jake asked worried.

"NO. YOu CAN STAY I SuPPOSE. I WANT SOME FEEDBACK ON AN IDEA THAT SHE WON'T LISTEN TO." Caliborn said.

"Ugh! yoU better not be dirty aboUt it!"

"IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF IDEA!" He roared in rage…

 **Hours later**

Calliope and Jake chatted about something while Caliborn tried to draw, badly.

"You know… I only ever see you two drawing with your right hands." Jake noted. "Wouldn't it make sense for one of you to be left handed?"

"hUh… i gUess it's worth a shot." She decided, letting Caliborn take the left hand while she took the right. "i already know i'm right handed." She explained as Caliborn continued drawing, getting better by the second.

"WOW! LOOK! LOOK CALLIOPE! IT'S A CIRCLE!" He squealed excitedly.

"well done brother! this is amazing!" She congratulated happily.

"THANKS JAKE HuMAN FOR POINTING THIS OuT TO uS!" He thanked with a grin.

"It's no problem! Really, i just noticed and decided to bring it u-" He was cut off as Caliborn glomped him.

"THIS IS DISGuSTING AND WE SHALL NEVER MENTION THIS AGAIN." He said five seconds later, having detached.

"…. Ok i can do that…" Jake agreed shakily.

"… why did yoU glomp hi-"

"WE AGREED NOT TO MENTION THIS AGAIN! THAT DOES NOT MEAN BRING IT uP FIVE SECONDS LATER!"

"i couldn't help it…" Calliope apologised, taking the cloak off to reveal that they were wearing a green coat.

"ARE MY SuSPENDERS STILL IN PLACE?"  
"yUp!"  
"GOOD…"

"You are in the weirdest situation that can exist." Jake noted.

"probably. bUt we've learned to live with it." Calliope agreed.

"That still makes it weird."

"YEAH BuT WHO GIVES A SHIT?"

"we really need to cut down on the cUrsing like oUr doctor said."

"FuCK. THAT."

"this is exactly what i'm talking about!" The two argued while Jake gave a grin.

"I'm wondering just how you're going to get sorted." He told them, pausing the argument.

"hUh… that is a good point…" Calliope muttered.

"MAYBE WE'LL EACH GET SORTED AND JuST SWAP WHENEVER?" Caliborn suggested.

"maybe not whenever but swapping coUld work." Calliope agreed.

 **Later**

The cals entered the great hall, Calliope fiddling with her hair while Caliborn stroked Jakes arm sensually.

"YOu LIKE THIS? YOu DISGuSTING FREAK…" He whispered in Jakes ear.

"Please stop that it's disturbing me." Jake begged.

"NO… YOu LIKE THIS BECAuSE YOu'RE A SICK, DISGuSTING FREAK… OH YEAH…" he whispered even closer.

"that's enoUgh of that brother." Calliope decided, dropping a rubix cube into the left hand for Caliborn to fiddle with.

"OH! PuZZLE…" He mumbled, instantly distracted.

"my brother is an idiot… an adorkable idiot, bUt an idiot…" She lamented.


End file.
